Problem Solvers…ish #10 — Come Out and Be Your Gay Self! After College, Maybe…

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THAT’S RIGHT, mumsy and dadsy! I’ve waited too long to come out. This is ME! The REAL ME! And if you’ve got a problem with that, well you can just cram your homophobia where the sun don’t shine! So THERE! Oh…and can I borrow the car tonight? And maybe twenty bucks? Please?

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NSFW: Seth & Lex ponder the possible comeuppance triggered by come-outance…

Hoo-boy! Just a few words, right? How hard can it be? But your hands are clammy and your breath is shallow and you feel this fucked up out-of-body sensation that would be cool at any other time. And you’re sitting across from your folks and now is the PERFECT time to drop the G-bomb: “Mom? Dad? I’m gay.”

Come Out Swinging…or singing…or in iambic pentameter or something.

Lex and Seth haven’t ever been in this situation themselves, but they feel pretty confident that their advice would work perfectly in some universe, if not our own. And if your preferred method of communication was in rhyming couplets. And if your family was that family in that Twilight Zone episode where everyone was afraid of that creepy little kid who could make shit happen just by imagining it, but in this case the kid would be YOU, and if your parents said even one…harsh…word about your sexuality, you could turn them ALL into…into…

Well, that one kinda got away from me.

But FEAR NOT! There’s bound to be a seed pearl of wisdom in this episode! And if you find it, please let us know…

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